Thursday, 17 March 2011

Here Be Whales!

We are fast approaching Friday. Do you know what this means dear readers? It mean that when Friday is here there will be nothing but battered fish to eat! Every Friday it's the same. Why have four places on the Estate selling food and then make the main meal battered fish in every single one of them! 
Bring in a McDonalds or KFC I say. Open up the floor to some competition and see if the poor staffers still choose between fish or a Tesco sandwich every effing Friday.

Mental note to self: do NOT forget where you are and re-attached your stocking tops when standing at the back of the Speaker's chair. I had to drop documents off a few times whilst the boss sat on the bench and hollered abuse to the benches opposite. I handed the documents over and without thinking bent over slightly to sort myself out. I shan't name names but there were a few grins from male MPs as I straightened and walked away. I had completely forgotten about the slit in the back of my dress and can only imagine how much was on display as I played with the clips.

Despite this 'flashing' I still maintain that my outfits are more fitting to work life on the Parliamentary Estate than most. Here are two things I would highlight to the younger bods:

1) Only a few men can pull off a bow tie. I know you're aiming for Doctor Who or James Bond but you're looking more like Pee Wee Herman and he's now only known for pulling himself off.

2) This isn't college, bare legs and flip flops are not standard office wear. Although I did once see a girl in the Sports with cellulite so bad, it was eating through her tights. I very nearly lost a mouthful of red plonk when my drinking partner starting quoting Moby Dick. I told him he was going to hell, the dry kind.

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