Farmers, Madams and Wellies

It was a Thursday but I kept thinking it was a Friday and each glance at the clock was a disappointment.

There are few things as boring as DEFRA questions. Except maybe Welsh questions.

I know there are possibly plans for badgers and still issues with trees but, my Christ, I just don't care. Apologies to the many farmers who read my blog, I know you will be heart broken at this admission.

The only thing to happen in the chamber to raise the eyebrow of yours truly was the nerve of Fiona MacTaggart moaning about ageism from the Prime Minister. The same MacTaggart who had to apologise to Chloe Smith some time last year over remarks about her youth. As a nation we must stop electing goldfish to Parliament.

It seemed that the estate, like the chamber, was quite empty today. It's as though everyone stayed for the main attraction of PMQs and then headed back to their constituencies yesterday. Louise Mensch tweeted about having a surgery today in her neck of the woods; the very idea of that mystifies the boss. “On a Thursday? When the House is still sitting? Does the three line whip mean so little to the new intake?”

“You once said the only three line whip you cared about was the type being held by a Madam.”

“I never said I was consistent, did I?”

By mid afternoon he'd pulled on his ridiculous wellies and marched out the door, shouting over his shoulder “To the homestead!”

This week has gone very fast but, bloody hell, it's aged me.

Toodles x.

The Beard Should Have Been A Clue

Scratch scratch!

 I know that Mike Hancock has been getting messages telling him to get himself down to a clinic. Surely staffers have many things to be getting on with at the moment, even the Lib Dem staffers?

Once upon a time, I knew an entire 5-a-side football team who caught something from the same girl. And yet somehow my mother still thinks my sister is the 'good daughter'...

When is a SpAd not a SpAd? When it's written on their business card!

Money Money Money!

Because sometimes you just have to send an inappropriate birthday card and gift to someone in the Government. I am absolutely confident I'll get a response...

Maybe.

The Morning After

Apologies for the lack of posts; it's been a busy time and I haven't yet slept.

Maybe it's the fact that I have been running on nothing but coffee and red wine for the last 24 hours or maybe I'm just due a breakdown but I don't get why the Lib Dem results are the fault of the Tories.

Dave has gone out of his way to be as chummy as possible to Nick and has been very generous with Lib Dem policy. No matter how many times there have been little snide remarks from Lib Dem Ministers, Dave has just shrugged. He's been laid back enough that it's p*ssing Tory backbenchers off! Yet somehow their local election results are our fault?

My message to any Liberal readers (and I hope I have a few) is that the blame lies with Labour. They have seen their chance to paint themselves as the only true 'progressives' and 'voice of the Left' and they've gone for it. They have nudged unions and whispered in the ears of students, dumped sh*t at Clegg's feet all the while pretending that they wouldn't have had to take the same decisions.

Of course I don't blame Labour for that, play the game and play to win. Nor am I naive enough to think that Dave and George aren't counting their lucky stars that fortune has delivered them a human shield in the shape of their Coalition partners.

I do think that there are those who need to decide what side of the fence they're on and stick to it. I'm looking at you Chris.

Time to sleep x