"Better the Devil You Know"

Diary of a Westminster Bag-carrier: giving pervs what they want since 2011

Getting post from the constituency office is always fun as it's likely to be from someone who prefers to drop their 'important' correspondences off on a doorstep in the middle of the night rather than email, fax or phone. What was sent up to the Westminster office on Thursday was hilarious as well as sinister. The constituent had made a very large print out of the boss's face and then cut out the eyes. There appeared to be an accidental tear across the mouth and written in purple ink on the back were the lyrics to Kylie Minogue's 'I should be so Lucky'

It was a whole new level of political interest.

I didn't let the boss see it. I have enough trouble getting him into the constituency at the best of times. Last thing I need is him declaring it unsafe. Once he called an event with CWO "exceptionally dangerous to my manhood". Very prone to drama is my boss.

I read the very excellent Closing Prices email from PoliticsHome Thursday evening and spotted the Chancellor's comments on Scotland. Since he was unexpectedly at Dr Fox's New Year's gathering on Wednesday night, I wonder if Osborne got Fox's thoughts on what he was going to say. 

Toodles x

Oddbins and Offended Pot Plants

The photos of Oliver Letwin dumping paperwork into a park bin caused a great deal of giggling in my office. It's general knowledge that Letwin should never be allowed to do anything without a babysitter. Yes, he's a very smart chap but there's a distinct lack of common sense or awareness. You only have to ask a few knowledgeable folk about his confusion to Cameron's 'Twatgate' to find that out.

What is this word 'twat' which you speak of?

I'm sure most MPs wish they could dump some of the more hysterical constituency paperwork into a bin. Maybe set fire to it. Perhaps after they have ripped it into a hundred pieces and poured coffee over said paperwork. But very few of them would actually do it, let alone in a public park with witnesses!

The boss wasn't all that surprised when Dr Fox threw in the towel. As Sky News announced it as breaking news, I'd given the old sod a call.

“He's gone and it had nothing to do with the shocking shirt he wore to his birthday party.”

“Damn shame but it was the only way.”

“Who do you think will replace him?”

“It won't be me,” long pause, “not after what I said to Cameron at conference.”

“Are you sure it was him you spoke to because you were threatening a pot plant in the Midland at one point.”

“We agreed not to speak about that!”