Pass Me A Tissue!

Dear readers, you will be sad to learn that I have a cold. Quite possibly the flu!

This resulted in me staying in bed yesterday, attempting to rub as much Vicks into my skin as possible whilst having a hot towel wrapped around my head. I was a picture of grace and serenity...

To help me feel better my flat mate and his horse faced girlfriend decided to come back to our flat at lunch time and recreate a donkey riding scene from the Bible.

The short and curly of it is that I will not be going to any events or receptions this evening unless I miraculously feel better by 5pm.

So in light of this I put forward a challenge to my fellow parliamentary staffers:

Print off my delightful profile picture on the right hand of the page and take it with you to the staffers reception this evening.

The aim of the game will be to hold the picture up in a photo with any Ministers or Whips. Whoever grabs a photo of the most senior Gov rep there gets a Felicity Parkes mug.

I am Felicity Parkes

Yes it’s what you’ve all been waiting for. Screw the Daily Politics mug, anyone and their handler can get one of those!



Vote Mogg, Vote Often

Eighty six. That’s how many letters we sent out with a spelling mistake. They were all the same in response to a generic lobby letter we had been receiving and every one of them had the word ‘piss’ in the text. I haven’t told the boss yet and I don’t think I will. It was Rachel’s letter and I just can’t risk him getting rid of her.
The amount of pointless rubbish that is generated by an MP’s office would surprise any normal person and every bit of it needs to be scanned or photocopied and then stuffed into a envelope. I swear on my Yes, Minister boxset that it will not be me who has to do it!

The nominations for the House Magazine awards went out today. You can see them here www.thehouseawards.com. I’m only going to write this once dear readers: vote for The Moggster.

Well what were you expecting? I am a Capitalist after all...

Toodles! x

Mugs, Jugs and Slugs

While I am off on holls hopefully enjoying some whirlwind romance or at the very least getting my jollies, I hope all of Westminster enjoys the visit from Barack Obama.

I imagine that Obama will be half way through his speech and all of a sudden Gordon Brown recreates the scene from The Graduate. I will be very annoyed if I miss that.

Dear readers do you ever wish to hint to your work colleagues that you may be an anonymous blogger, wind up The Daily Mail AND line my pockets at the same time? Well you're in bally luck!

A girl's gotta pay for her shoes somehow...

I am Felicity Parkes by FelicityParkes

And now all that remains to be asked is:

Will the bars on the Estate notice a drop in their profits while I'm away? Will I come back to find the boss accidentally hanged himself as he mucked around with the office blinds? Will George ever send me a thank you email? Should I do as heavily suggested to me and remove the website I set up documenting Jacob Rees-Moggs double breasted suits? Will the Speaker be annoyed when he finds out what I left in the green petition bag? And finally... how much will a glass of wine cost on the flight?

Toodles!