On Wednesday I struck a tourist with my handbag. It's not something I'm proud of to be honest as the tourist in question could be technically described as a child. Okay... it was a child of about ten but if I say "please get out of the way, I'm in a hurry" and the brat just laughs and proceeds to kick at my shoes then I am going to get angry.
The reason for my haste was over on the Green giving an interview about phone hacking. There's nothing quite like sitting in a very boring meeting in PCH only then to get a text message saying Hugh Grant is on the Green looking f*ckable! I made my excuses and slipped out of the meeting with my knickers in a twist (may as well call a spade a horny spade) but the distance and traffic worked against me despite being a vision in red.
Dear Hugh...I love you. I think we would work well together as I'm half your age and very rarely sober. Call me!