Saturday, 31 December 2011

Round Up

As this is my 100th post I thought I would share some of my favourite diary entries from the last year. Yes, I could post other people's posts but that would take too long and, at this time of year, the window of sobriety is a small one.

Brick, Cash and Hookers

Dear Boss...

Felicity in The Park: TUC Rally

Rachel, Sambuca and a Rickshaw

Calm Down Dear

Money, monday, monday

Tweet, Tweet My Sweet

Once Again I Am Surrounded By Men

Normal Programming Has Resumed

Roll on 2012. X

Friday, 30 December 2011

Ban Cheap Political Stunts Instead

And I said stunts! Honestly, you lot...

Should cheap drink be banned? Will it make a blind bit of difference to our city centres and high streets? Is it right that we have a Conservative PM pushing forward this sort of thing even though he was quite happy to make a tit of himself by drunkenly throwing up in a friend's room whilst a student?

The answer to each and every one is simply: no.

Empty Sacks All Round

I don't know about anyone else's Christmas but mine was a doozie. Christmas Eve was spent watching my flatmate interrogate the chap I’ve been seeing.

“What are you intentions?”

“I don't have any!”

“Bullcrap, I'll say again: what are your intentions towards Flick?”

“To give her anything she wants?”

“What if she wants a PS3 and Battlefield 3?”

“Is that what she wants?”

“Answer the question!”

“Yes, yes!”

“In that case you have my blessing.”

I needn't point out that my flatmate is a git. The last thing you need when you plan to slow down, if not stop a relationship is someone like him sticking his end in. Of course I expect my male readers to sympathise with my 'situation' more than my female readers.

The 'situation' sorted itself when I finally met the chap's parents later that day. It turns out that I'm a crude, ghastly drunk who was attempting to sully their only child. At least that's what they told him when they thought I was out of ear shot just before we left. I know he was tempted to tell his parents to get stuffed and be a rebel but I also know what a mummy's boy he is. 

This is image is being used ironically because I don't care.
All I can say dear readers is phew! He was a lovely chap but I have no desire to be an MP's wife or in this case, a wannabe MP's wife and that's precisely where this would have ended up if it hadn't been snuffed out; with commitment, responsibility and partnership. All those terrible things that can happen if you embrace adulthood. No thanks. Indeed, I'm now footloose and free as we see in 2012. 

Toodles x

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Merry Christmas and all that rot!

I know it's early but, dear readers, if you're anything like me you've had a bottle to hand since 1st December.

Christmas cards went out today and if you didn't get one it's either because I don't like you, I like you too much or I simply ran out of my wonderful cards. Take your pick.

Despite the best attempts of a few, this blog has been going for nearly a year now. For 2012 to be even more fun, I'm going to need each and every one of you. I hope you're all up to the task!

Hugs and kisses x

Thursday, 1 December 2011

No Rest For The Wicked

Can someone tell me why I am still at work? It's 8:15pm at the time of writing and I could be in the Sports, in the M.O.G or at home enjoying a facial and a leg wax. I've been stuck at my desk for so many hours that when I rolled over to the filing cabinet and back, I knew the boss had, while my back was turned, moved something on my desk.

"What did you just do?"

"Grabbed a paperclip off your desk. S'not a crime, is it?"

"What's wrong with the box of clips in your drawer?"

"I prefer not to use those to pick the food out of my teeth."

"Oh delightful..."

Today I learnt that it's not okay to laugh when an MP falls out of a lift and that Alan Johnson will hold the door open for you but Ed Miliband won't even try. This, I feel, sums up Labour's problem. 
My Non-Job Award goes to this little gem - ME, Diversity and Faith Community Engagement and Campaigning Advisor. No, it's not union based or a Labour run Council position but rather a cushty little job over at CCHQ. I despair.

Thursday evening sees the CIPR PA Annual Parliamentary Researchers Reception and attendees can vote in the 'CIPR PA Westminster Researcher of the Year Award where nominations will be invited to identify the most hard-working and talented member of staff working in a parliamentary office in Westminster.'

Now I'm not going to suggest that you should nominate me because I'm any good at my job. No, rather to annoy all those who actually think the award should go to them. So if you're going and wish to piss someone off, VOTE FLICK! 

I shall now retire. Home is where my flatmate's warm beer and cold pizza wait for me. 

Good night x