The Labour Mood Swing

Less of the awkward, more of the glum Ed Miliband moments

It was a real struggle to find any labour members of staff or, for that matter, members of parliament who didn't have a face like a wet dish rag on Tuesday. The 'Ed situation' is beginning to hit critical yet no one in the party seems to be able to pull a spine out of their arses to do anything.

The boss and I have a bet on the go; I think Ed will step down graciously within 12 months and the boss thinks he'll stay put until the election. “Rewarding the weak and the incompetent is what the Political Left are brainwashed to do. Look at that sodding benefits cap vote!”

In 1 Parliament Street there is almost an entire floor of MPs offices with SAVE ED posters stuck to them. It's quite a beautiful sight.

I read a report by Professor Mark van Vugt, as you do, that suggests men are to blame for the world wars and similar because they have evolved to attack outsiders. Biggest load of old rot I have ever had in front of my face... and I’ve tried to read Twilight.

Peace and kindness, my derrière!

Women have evolved to resolve conflict through peace and kindness according to the report. There must have been a point where Professor Mark van Vugt was writing that, and his wife screamed 

“YOU'VE LEFT THE FRIDGE DOOR OPEN AGAIN. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU BEFORE THAT THICK F**KING BRAIN OF YOURS GETS IT. I AM SICK OF DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOU WHILE YOU SIT AND WRITE YOUR SH*TY REPORT. I SWEAR I COULD JUST RIP YOUR THUMBS OFF AND RAM THEM UP YOUR PENIS!!!”

Will Dave be back in time for PMQs or will we have to see Clegg go up against Harman? I'm going to need ear plugs.

Bye bye xx