Stand and Deliver Your Money or Your Life!

I am now engaged in an office share. I don't like it. That's the problem with the Houses of Parliament – any spare space must be used, even if it's a spare desk in a grotty office. The other staffer who has come to join us is what I would call a Matron and very nice but she doesn't stop talking. Ever. Even when I had my head phones in and watching The Iron Lady trailer she rolled her chair next to mine and proceeded to give a running commentary. All in all it's made the boss a bit tetchy...

“It's not at the top of my list today but if I cross paths with Shagger Mercer, I am going to have words!”

“Over the Cameron comments?”

“Oh indeed.”

*heavy pause* “You have said worse...”

“Yes but either in private or to the man's face! You don't say things like that about the Prime Minster in public. It's the rules, Felicity dear.”

In the House of Lords, first floor over at the West Front, is a notice board full of union leaflets. It's the usual thing about cuts and George Osborne dressed as a highwayman. The boss and I had to walk past it today and the old boy growled. “It's a bloody disgrace!” I watched him look up and down the corridor shifty like. “You'll get caught,” I muttered, “just like the time you tried to take down the PCS Union poster near the post room and by the by - I can NOT run in these heels.” Thankfully he let it go and lunch was enjoyed by all.

An invite came in today for an event campaigning for the 'Criminalisation of Aggressive War'. What a bloody stupid campaign. Oh yes we're against aggressive war but passive war? Get stuck in sunshine!' I'm not sure why but that was said in an Eric Idle sort of voice. I think I need sleep. It has been a long week... What day is it tomorrow? Oh sod it.

Goodnight x

Meeting Boyfriends and Hearing Plots

Friday night saw me meeting with Rachel's boyfriend, Richard for the first time. She brought him into London for drinks after work. I don't like him and I am quite sure the feeling is mutual. Of course I remained polite for most of the evening despite his attitude. It's no wonder Rachel was so quiet and boring when she first started interning with us. Richard is of the belief that his girlfriend should be quiet until he speaks to her and that any female should always defer to a male. As you can imagine, dear readers, I'm not the deferring type.

“History teaches us that man is superior to women. All the great empires were lead by men, all our finest minds have been men.”

“I can't be bothered to debate this with you, Dick. I will simply point out that our greatest PM was a woman. Ergo you're talking sh*t.”

He told Rachel he wanted to leave shortly after that.

On the same Friday I also blogged for Total Politics so do toodle over and have a read.

Monday disappeared into nothingness. Every Tory backbencher I spoke to was spitting about Nick Clegg's 'victory' on the NHS. Cameron may be wanting to secure the Coalition and help Nick keep his leadership but he really ought to think about his own. It never takes long for talk to turn into plotting...

A few people I know went to the Boris drinks on Monday night. This poor bag carrier didn't have £30 to spare but I would have like to have gone. It's always nice to be in the presence of Bojo's mojo. From what I've been told today by rough looking staffers, it was a good evening and as predicted nothing went to plan. Has Boris ever been on time for an event?

And apparently there was talk of this blog and it's author last night. It's an open secret according to some...

Whips, Netball and The Iron Lady

Understandably there were a lot of hacks around today. Everyone seemed to be flitting around with a nervous air. I guess sending our brave boys and girls into combat will do that to a Parliament.

Of course the world doesn’t stop when fighting starts. Constituents keep calling and lobbyists keep sending boring and generic emails. 

I am getting increasingly p*ssed off with the moths in every office and hallway. Does anyone else have an issue with flying bugs trying to get in your mouth?

"I never hugged him, I bombed him."

My boss has decided he wants to join the Parliamentary ‘Back to Netball’ Group. “If it’s good enough for Col. Bob then it’s good enough for me!” Why doesn’t it surprise me that that Bob Stewart has signed up as well.

I am worried about the boss. I came back from lunch and found him talking to a framed portrait of Baroness Thatcher about Libya. I know he likes to air his thoughts when he’s troubled but I think he’s spending too much time chatting to the Iron Lady. Christ I hope he doesn’t start hearing the portrait talk back. He did leave the office for the chamber muttering something about “the stench of appeasement.” Oh dear. I was going to take him up on his offer of a few in the Strangers this evening but I'm not too sure now he's gone all fruitloop.

Toodles. xx