Monday, 17 October 2011

Oddbins and Offended Pot Plants

The photos of Oliver Letwin dumping paperwork into a park bin caused a great deal of giggling in my office. It's general knowledge that Letwin should never be allowed to do anything without a babysitter. Yes, he's a very smart chap but there's a distinct lack of common sense or awareness. You only have to ask a few knowledgeable folk about his confusion to Cameron's 'Twatgate' to find that out.
What is this word 'twat' which you speak of?
I'm sure most MPs wish they could dump some of the more hysterical constituency paperwork into a bin. Maybe set fire to it. Perhaps after they have ripped it into a hundred pieces and poured coffee over said paperwork. But very few of them would actually do it, let alone in a public park with witnesses!

The boss wasn't all that surprised when Dr Fox threw in the towel. As Sky News announced it as breaking news, I'd given the old sod a call.

“He's gone and it had nothing to do with the shocking shirt he wore to his birthday party.”

“Damn shame but it was the only way.”

“Who do you think will replace him?”

“It won't be me,” long pause, “not after what I said to Cameron at conference.”

“Are you sure it was him you spoke to because you were threatening a pot plant in the Midland at one point.”

“We agreed not to speak about that!”

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