I read these word with tears in my eyes. I am praying for the place to be filled with clowns! Dear readers imagine the scenario if you will: someone working here has a fear of clowns and they are secure in the knowledge that they are unlikely to see the object of that fear in the work place and then BAM they turn a corner and there’s half a dozen clowns queuing up with visitor pass around their necks. I'll be keeping an ear out for the screams.
Getting a cat as a pet is quite pedestrian especially if the purpose of the pet is to kill other animals. Now a python would have shown character and creativity, not to mention supplying endless nob related gags. Dave might not be able to pull off a snake though, so to speak. It just wouldn't go with the sunbed tan.
Perhaps it could live at No.11? Osborne would be far better suited for the whole dark lord persona. Just ask the unions.
The boss has banned us from saying ‘Larry the Cat’ in the office. Yesterday it was ‘Big Society’ and one can only imagine what tomorrow's banned phrase will be. I'll go with ‘Andrew Cooper’, our new Director of Strategy at No.10 and ex-SDP. Just shoot me!