The Eds, Bob and Wee Dougie

I've been informed that hissing "Ed Balls for Labour Leader" behind Ed Miliband's back on the Portcullis House escalators is bad form. I thought I was being down right polite.

I watched the PM's statement on Libya and Japan this afternoon. I must say I'm getting a little worried about Dave. Last week he was saying that the EU was good for the country, then today that Baroness Ashton was doing a good job. Where is this going? "The EU is grand, Ashton is superb, Balls is an economic marvel and Bob Crow is a very tender lover."

I subtly hinted to Rachel about the sniffing thing. It involved me offering her a tissue after every third sniff. If that doesn't work then I'm just going to scream "For the love of all things holy please stop with the constant crusty sniff sniff, you absolute DRIP of a girl!"

Lunch was a disappointment. Honey glazed chicken breast on a pita bread with a salad garnish turned out to be pita bread, a nugget of meat and a sh*t load of green crap. £4 is a lot on my level of pay. A lot.

Can someone tell wee Douglas Alexander to use his office. Everytime I walk though Portcullis House he's there with his staff and having what looks like a secret hobbit meeting. Get a f*cking room!

Toodles.