Wednesday, 9 March 2011

"You'll never be Rachel Johnson, Mr Speaker!"

As I'm writing this on International Women's Day, allow me to make reference to when the sisterhood once burnt their bras.

Burnt that bra Kelly Brooke!
It didn't take long for us to get a new face in the office. Her name is Rachel and she wants to be a journalist and writer apparently. My work colleague found this very humorous.

"Shame your surname isn't Johnson otherwise you could claim her work as your own. Get it?"

This was greeted with the same weak flicker of intelligence one would find in the faces of MacDonalds staff. I don't like her very much. All she seems to do is sniff and pick her nails. I wouldn't mind if there was some sort of personality or character underneath that mousy brown hair or M&S cardi but there's nothing! I asked the boss if Rachel was by any chance grown in a field by one of the farmers in his constituency. He didn't find it funny. I think he's quite taken by her. I guess if sniffy, dull and monosyllabic nineteen year olds are your thing then knock yourself out. On the plus side she does know how to file and how to turn on a lap top which is better than our last constituency procured 'office helper'.

Having heard my fair share of grumbles about Speaker Bercow and what he calls 'being on Backbencher's side' I am not shocked at Claire Perry's outburst.
I wonder what the response would have been like if a male MP had said the exact same thing. Of course I would imagine someone like Jacob Rees-Mogg or similar would have perhaps said it in Latin. Speaking of The Moggster, I emailed him today. Why? Well...why not?

Dear Mr Rees-Mogg,

I won't presume to call you The Moggster but please know that it is a term many use with great affection.

I always enjoy your contribution to parliamentary debates and I very much hope that you be speaking in today’s debate as I believe we have very similar views on the EU.

While I am not a constituent I hope it would not be inappropriate if I were to ask if you will be speaking in the International Womens debate on Thursday 10th March? I very much hope this is the case and that you would consider going against the grain and referring to it as International Ladies Day. This does, in my opinion, sound like a much more enjoyable day as I am sure you will agree.

Yours sincerely,
Ms Felicity Parkes

I haven't have a response yet but I'm sure this is simply because I didn't contact him by carrier pigeon or by telegram.

Very sound update on a Thursday evening. I've just checked my email.-

Dear Ms Parkes,

Many thanks for your kind email.  Unfortunately, I did not get the chance to speak today but think your suggestion about Ladies Day is excellent.

With every good wish,

Yours sincerely,
Jacob Rees-Mogg

No comments:

Post a Comment