Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Never Underestimate a Man in His Pants

We’ve lost another intern! At this rate my office is going to get a reputation for being cursed.

I feel quite bad actually as the last time I saw him I called him Sicky Ricky and he didn’t look all that impressed. I’m not fussed if I hurt his feeling, more that it makes me look like I couldn’t remember his name which I can. It’s....well it was obviously such a boring name it didn’t stick in the old grey matter. I am assured that we will soon have someone else from the constituency and I can go through the whole spiel once more about how we run this office.
My main gripe has been a lack of common sense from the youngsters: letters posted with no attachments, not saving spread sheets and then there is of course the little matter of throwing old tea out of the office window. If the splashed MP is reading this then please accept my sincere apologies. The intern in question knew fear, I promise you.

Somehow the boss injured himself since I last saw him. He won’t tell me if his wife, a constituent or a really good bottle of scotch that was to blame. I will just have to sooth my nosiness by hiding the crutch he’s using. He’s doing a jolly good impression of Tiny Tim right now, pathetic little cough and everything.

It was good to have the House sitting today. Nothing quite like seeing Chris Bryant stumping the Speaker by quoting Erskine May. As my boss says “Never underestimate a man in his pants!” Profound.

Of course the best part was David Winnick saying the UK should stop selling arms to "murdering bastards who terrorize their own people”. David Miliband’s face looked just like his brother’s for a moment.

Am I keen to spend a weekend in Wales with the boss? No. Is it still going to happen regardless? Seems so. Will I be using free white wine to make the weekend pass quicker? Absolutely.

Word has it that the Chancellor is loving it up with backbenchers tonight over at No.11. I wonder if they have twiglets? Mmm savory maneuvers.


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